Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
