I could have mohawked her pubes.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My feet surprised me
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