Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
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