sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
