I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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