My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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