Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
