Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
