the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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