brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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