i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
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i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
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I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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