Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
