just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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