I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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