you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
