guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
