Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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