im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize