$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Couch. On fire.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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