I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
