Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
