you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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