Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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