She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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