i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
