I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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