ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
