Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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