Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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