ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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