I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.