Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
