Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
