I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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