Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
