either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
