if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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