she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
