Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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