No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
