dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
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Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize