the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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