I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
