she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
