It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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