I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
