Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
