The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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