i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize