I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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