Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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