S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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