If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
