before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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