just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
