I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We named our party play list daddy issues
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
