Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize