playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
