We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
