it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
