just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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