Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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